anam cara: “…you are joined in an ancient and eternal union with humanity that cuts across all barriers of time, convention, philosophy and definition. when you are blessed with an anam cara, the irish believe, you have arrived at that most sacred place: home.” ~john o’donahue

Early this morning, I received a text from my friend, Colleen. Because she lives on the west coast and we are on the east, many times I wake up to sweet messages from my “anam cara” or soul friend. In this text, Colleen messaged that she had just read “the gift” and that she had chills. She had never heard the story of the treetop fairy. However, a week ago, she had ordered this kit with the red door (pictured above) because “…if you couldn’t take the original, the kids could at least have a fantasy one in the yard.”

Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Ever since it became clear that we would have to sell our family home, Colleen has joked that she’s chaining herself to our front door. The red door. Only, if you know Colleen, you also know she AIN’T joking. I am fully prepared to see her, and others (Mary, Linda, Inga, Amy, Polly, Krissie and Cris to name a few…), shackled to the door when we close on the house in 17 days (not that anyone’s counting!).

I cannot stop staring at the treetop fairy’s red door. It makes me smile.

I imagine the fairy, who we’ll call A.C., would have had lots of adventures behind that red door. Some of those adventures might include an open phone book, a Garfield phone and HOURS of entertainment (they were the social networking site before there were sites!). There might also be a bottle of vodka and cream soda (“If they replace the vodka with water, no one will notice, right?” WRONG!) and more phone calls. AC might even decide that she doesn’t care if only men can be priests, because (dammit!) she’s baptizing Mr. Meow in the family’s antique christening gown, complete with torchbearers, choir (and claws!), before her mom gets home from work. AC and the treetop fairy crew might even have to knock on that red door at 11:00pm  after being escorted home in a paddywagon for violating curfew (and possibly holding a wine cooler?).

AC’s one WILD AND CRAZY fairy.

However, behind all the craziness and shenanigans, AC and her ever-growing treetop fairy crew can also be serious, quiet and the best listeners. They are the most loyal, loving, fun and kind soul friends there ever were…

So…Colleen’s other red door will be placed on a big oak tree in our backyard. I’ll check on it regularly to make sure Bailey and Jane don’t get too curious about AC and her crew.

I will smile and remember.

I will then look forward to many new adventures because “the crew” is already home.

And that is a gift.

the thing about memories is that once you remember one, there are usually about five more sitting just beneath the surface. very often, i have a hard time keeping up with the lightening speed that the memories play back in my head. i’m not sure whether or not i’m alone in this experience, but i know people have often looked at me strangely, as i go from one story to the next, and then try to remember, “wait…what was my point?”. most of my friends and family “get it” now and can help me re-trace my thought process without a second thought. there usually IS some sort of link between one thought or memory and the original story (it just might take a moment to figure it out). the speed in which the memories are triggered and played back intensify when i’m anxious. right now it really feels like i cannot keep up with the pace.

amy’s unexpected gift and the incredible timing of it have definitely opened up the memory floodgates even more and have me scratching my head and asking: are there ever really any coincidences?

reflecting back upon the accident the other day, i started thinking about a series of interactions that have been burned into my brain forever.

about a week before i had the body cast taken off, one of our neighbors, sheila, was babysitting at our house.

sheila was the youngest of five girls and she and her sisters were our parents’ go-to babysitters. because of that, our families became quite close over the years. only in 8th grade, she handled the four of us (and our runaway dog, grover) like a champ. she was very nurturing and kept her cool during the some very stressful times. one time when i skinned my knee, she had me sit down while she searched through the medicine cabinet for bactine and band-aids. instead, of bactine, she pulled out a bottle of rubbing alcohol. unfortunately, the top was not screwed on all the way, so when she lifted it out of the cabinet, the entire bottle poured right into my eyes. sheila rushed to helped me, and because it was before cell phones, she called her mom who came right over. my eyes were totally fine after some flushing, cookies and a good cuddle from her mom. her mom was thoughtful, generous, kind and caring and it was obvious that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. sheila carried that attitude with her every single time i saw her, even when i was acting like a big jerk…

so wait…now where was i? choosing grace…the necklace…amy…oh yes, the accident. still stuck in the body cast and my dining room bed, i was very irritable, itchy and annoyed, when sheila innocently came up to me and asked, “what do you want for christmas?” i responded very rudely that i wanted the treetop fairy doll that was very popular at the time. she got the specifics (like the name and that it HAD to be the blond one) and went off to play with my siblings.

about a week later, the body cast came off and i was sitting in the dining room for a final wrap-up session with my tutor when the phone rang. my mom answered it and screamed, “OH MY GOD!”, my tutor and i looked at each other and she said to me, “that doesn’t sound good.” my mom could be a bit dramatic, so i didn’t really think it was that bad, but when she quickly came over and closed the door between the dining room and kitchen, i was a little worried. even grover stayed quietly under the table. later that morning, i learned that sheila and her family were in a terrible car accident caused by a drunk driver. all but one of her sisters were in the car and everyone suffered multiple injuries. sheila and her father died instantly.

the days that followed were incredibly sad and quiet. this beautiful family was very well-known and so very loved – it was a huge loss for our school and parish. a few nights later, my dad and i were sitting quietly on the sofa listening to christmas music and looking at the tree. “silent night” was playing when someone knocked on the front door. my dad went to see who it was and returned holding a handful of wrapped gifts for the four of us. i didn’t know who it was from, but was excited to get a present, so i quickly opened up the gift.

it was the blond treetop fairy doll.

many years later, i was sitting in my office across from a student and we somehow made the connection that her mom and i both went to the saint ignatius. after a few more questions, it dawned on me that her mom was sheila’s oldest sister. she said she didn’t know much about sheila because she died so young and so long ago. i then asked her if she wanted to hear a story…she did.

i told her about the gift.