siblings

We are sitting on a bench waiting for the next race, when a bunch of little papers blow past us. Kate looks at me and says, “Should we go and catch them?”

Before I can answer, she and her little brother scurry off after the old racing tickets that have been cast away. The wind is particularly strong this afternoon. There is no way they’ll catch them, is all I think while I watch them sprinting and laughing at the silliness of these fast moving tickets. They run so fast and so far we cannot see them anymore.

I lean over to try to catch a glimpse of them. As I do, I see them skipping back with the tickets in their hands. They don’t even look to see if they were winning or losing tickets. They are just happy that they somehow caught this trash. Kate looks at me and throws them in the garbage can. Her little brother follows her example.

They both come running up to us with big smiles on their faces.

I tell them that I’m proud of them for picking up the trash, for their act of kindness. I then tell them that I need to do some RAKs myself because I’ve really slacked on my own kindness project this week.

Kate looks up at me and says, “Just add ours to your list.”

I respond, “Well, I didn’t do it, so that wouldn’t be fair.”

Without missing a beat, she replies, “Yeah, well, the only reason I thought to pick up that garbage is because of your project, so it’s sorta like you did it, right?”

I like the way this girl thinks. :o)

#178. Wrote a positive message/review for the nicest Uber driver. We took a very late car and he put on a movie for the kids and was just a very careful and consciousness driver.

#177. “Inspired” kids to pick up trash at Arlington Race Track. : )

#176. Helped a woman get back into workout room to get her keys she left behind.

I’m what some people would call, a bit of a yeller.

I yell at my kids to pick up their socks off the sofa. I yell at the dog to get off the sofa. I yell, “What are the cushions doing off the sofa and on the floor?!” I yell that it’s time for “BREAKFAST!” “LUNCH!” and “DIN-NER!” I yell that we’re going to be late for school. I yell that it’s time to be quiet, and I yell that it’s time for bed.

Okay, I’ll be honest, I yell A LOT.

Sometimes I worry what the mailman thinks of me, but mostly I think he gets it.

In my defense, I grew up in a family of yellers. This was how our household functioned. There was always some (self-induced) chaos around us, we were always running late, there were always too many kids in the house, and messes that I, as the oldest, always felt obligated to clean up. My siblings also responded to my yelling, although I’ll admit, maybe it wasn’t the response I was hoping for…sometimes they yelled back…sometimes they slammed a door in my face…sometimes there was a sibling slam-down. But, like I said, at least there was a response.

Despite my best efforts, all the best-selling parenting books, and behavioral modification or “star” charts, I continue to yell at my own children. I’ve realized over the years that it’s a hard habit to break.

So, earlier this week, I decided to try a different approach.

Two of our children started wrestling and typically, I would yell, “Go to the basement!”, “Knock it off!” or “Someone’s gonna get hurt!”. This time, as one of my acts of kindness, I remained silent (which, by the way, was REALLY hard for me).

I also discreetly snapped a few photos, which highlight what happened next:

the beginning (very difficult for me not to yell)

both end up on the floor (this could get ugly-still keeping mouth shut)

“Look, Mom, we’re having so much fun!” (okay, difficult to argue with this one) :o)

big sister bangs little brother’s head on the floor = tears

While I wanted to yell, “SEE, I told you someone would get hurt!”, I continued to keep my mouth shut. I also stopped snapping pictures and quietly observed what happened next…the fighting stopped and Kate checked, really checked, to see if Brian was okay. She comforted her little brother and they decided together to do something else.

An unexpected act of kindness for all of us.

Maybe this kindness project can teach this old yeller some new tricks. :o)

#91. Wrote three letters for TWNMLL | The World Needs More Love Letters (moreloveletters.com)

#90. Picked up a loaf of bread that had fallen off the shelf and was just sitting in the middle of the aisle.

#89. Donated to a fund for the Nauti Dolphin delivery man who is going through cancer treatment.

#88. Donated to Amanda Lynn Williams Endowment Fund (McHenry County College).

#87. Gave a little extra tip to the man who delivered our Chinese food.

#86. Stayed out of sibling squabble. (RAK of the Week).

choosing grace

while i have a choice, i am choosing grace

the winning ticket

the old yeller & the weekly rak-up